My Only Wish This Father’s Day

It is half past 2 in the morning. As I am writing this, I take occasional glances at my son lying on my bed trying his hard to regain sleep while also trying to resist the urge to turn since I placed a wet cloth on his forehead to somehow absorb that heat. Another dose of grape-flavored Advil. When I woke him up, he asked me “Again?” I can only apologize to this young man, who is already on his 3rd day shaking this fever off.

I have not been there for him and for his sister. Every time I go home they are excited to see me. Though I’m equally excited, the energy left in my body is just not quite the same. Mostly worn out – both physically and emotionally. Work and all the toppings that come alongside leadership take the most out of me.

Mom is away, somewhere, doing her service to her God and her country.

This is what we have signed up for. For our children. Or is it?

I can still remember the last night they spent with their mom before she left for deployment in February. During our evening devotion, my kids decided to lay their heads on her lap while singing “I love you, Lord, and I lift my voice to worship you. Oh my soul, rejoice. Take joy, my King, in what you hear. May it be a sweet, sweet sound in Your ear.” My wife lovingly caressed their foreheads while she tried to fight the tears unable to sing herself. I just sat there watching the three of them. At some point I remembered a thought that says, “The children should never be without their mother.”  But, on that moment, I realized that a mother, in fact, should never be away from her children.

I took another glance at Jason. He is coughing a little bit. I removed the wet cloth from his forehead, wiped his two arms and told him he can go to sleep. He turned to his side and may now, I think, finally go to sleep. At least for a couple of hours until  I wake him up again to give another dose of medicine. That time it would be the cherry-flavored Tylenol.

This night, another night away from Father’s Day, I closed my eyes and said a prayer. First, I asked for God’s healing for my son – and may it come rather sooner than later.

Secondly, I just wish that my wife will be with her children – soon!

This night, a night away from Father’s Day, I tried to fight the tears.

And, I failed.

May Your will be done, Father. Amen!


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